Fishlets

I've spent most of the evening pretending like the minutes between 6:30 and 6:50 p.m. didn't happen.

I got home from work to an empty house. Ahhhhh. A few minutes of solitude before the Evening Insanity. But a quick phone call to my mother-in-law told me that my solitude wasn't going to be as peaceful as I had first thought. The kids hadn't eaten yet. Horror of horrors.

Let me point out that in our house, this truly is an event to make me groan. It's not that I don't like to cook - I love to eat, and I therefore enjoy creating things to eat. But feeding the kids is entirely different. Especially if I want to give them something that doesn't come out of a can, a bag, or a shrink-wrapped package. Something that they'll actually eat, that is.

As I stared first into the refrigerator, then into the freezer, then back into the fridge, then back into the freezer, my despair mounted. Then, suddenly, an idea began to take shape.

Fish sticks. Except, of course, we didn't have any. But we did have frozen fish fillets, some stuff called, "Andy's Seasoned Seafood Breading," and Canola Oil. So I thought, what the hey? Why don't I make some fish sticks?

I got out the fish, and set it to thawing (by running hot water over it continually for about ten minutes, during which time I think I about half-cooked it and I know I wasted a lot of water). I put some of the seasoning in a bowl and waited for the fish to thaw. I observed that one side of the fish was kind of orangish. Hmm, pretty. Getting bored, I put some frozen corn and frozen peas in the microwave to cook. Then I waited some more. Finally I checked the fish, and it was nice and squishy.

I pulled out the first fillet and started to cut it up. And then I realized - that pretty orangish side? Skin. Oh yeah. Nassss-teeeeee. And before I could make something fry-able for my children, I had to get it off.

Thus began the aforementioned twenty minutes I've been trying to forget. Peeling the skin off of raw, cold, slightly rubbery raw fish. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'll eat raw fish any day of the week. I love me some sushi. But Oh.My.Gosh, don't make me touch it. Ewwwww.

And not only was it necessary to touch it, but to get the skin off, I had to peel it. Squeeze it. Squish it. Mush it all around. After a few short minutes, there was nasty raw fish juice running down my arm. Augh. Augh. Aaaauuuuugggghhhh!

And there were three more fillets to go.

Please just kill me.

This brings me to another aside, by the way. When a package of fish says "Boneless" on the front, what do you expect? You expect it to be, well, free of bones. Am I right? So as I was mushing up those icky pieces of raw fish, you can imagine my surprise when I felt little sharp objects. Surely not bones. Not in my boneless fillets. The boneless fillets that I planned on feeding to my fifteen-month-old baby. Surely not.

Surely, yes. Yes, indeed. I find it amazing that the Kroger company has survived without a lawsuit over that one.

With all of the mutilation being caused by the mushing and, now, extra cutting to get the bones out, I realized fish sticks would be fairly difficult. I decided on fish nuggets, instead. Fishlets. This was perfect, really, because allowed me to make little bite-size pieces that would be just the right size for my son.

So I got them all cut up and fried an itty bitty piece to see if I had the oil right. Amazingly, it tasted pretty good, so I cooked up the rest (not that I wouldn't have cooked the rest, at that point, if it hadn't been). I was fairly shocked, because truthfully, frying and I don't tend to get along. I'm really not very good at it. I usually end up with 3/4 of my food burned onto the bottom of the pan, and the 1/4 that's left isn't edible. (So why did I think frying fish would be a good idea?) But somehow, it worked. Maybe it was because it was small pieces.

With my little fishlets done, I was ready for the real test: would the toddlers actually eat them? Particularly my son, who doesn't eat well, anyway. (Who am I kidding? Neither of my kids eats well unless it comes from McDonald's.)

The verdict: Yes. Fishlets apparently are agreeable to the one- and two-and-a-half-year-old palate. (Peas, on the other hand, are not. All my son did was smush them. Squish. Squish. Squish.) We will be making this again.

But I'll make sure that the fillets are boneless and skinless, next time.

Fishlets

12 oz boneless, skinless white fish (a little more than 12 oz if there are bones & skin)

Cornmeal type seafood breading

Enough oil to cover the bottom of a frying pan about 1/2 cm

Cut fish into small pieces. Pour about 1/4 cup breading into a bowl. Coat about 10 pieces at a time, then, when oil is hot, put those 10 pieces in one at a time. Cook a minute or two, turning halfway through, until the fishlets are golden brown. Transfer to a paper-towel-covered plate to cool and drain.

Makes 3-4 servings (if two of the people being served are toddlers).