"Not Me" Monday

It's time for the fun blog party, typically sponosored by MckMama, although she says she's not doing one this week - "Not Me Monday," in which we get to talk about all of the ways we didn't fall short during the past week.

Because, of course, we didn't make any mistakes this week. Not at all.

We finished our weight-loss competition at work this week, with our final weigh-in on Friday morning. I am pleased to announce that I did not gain four pounds during the competition. Oh no. I have much more willpower than that, and if I made a commitment to lose weight - even being on a team with someone else - then I certainly wouldn't have gained weight, instead.

Friday night, my sister- and brother-in-law were kind enough to give my husband and me a few baby-free hours. At dinner, I did not indulge in two beers. I would never be so irresponsible as to have more than one at a time. I was not tipsy when we picked my kiddos up. No, not at all. (But all joking aside, I have to add that my husband most certainly was driving.)

Speaking of indulging, at the other end of the spectrum, I did not, today, have two lattes while sitting at La Vida Java finishing the book I've been reading. Too much espresso makes me sick, so I wouldn't have four shots in the span of about two hours.


After having coffee, I didn't go to the bookstore looking for a computer reference book for something I'm working on at work. I mean, why would I do something for work on my own time? And then spend my own money on it? I'm not that dedicated. Really. I did not sit, cross-legged, on the ground in front of the books looking for what I needed, and I most certainly did not grin and say, "Heh heh, that's perfect!" out loud when I found what I was looking for. Seriously. I am not that much of a geek.


I have not been letting my children watch TV for most of the time since I got home. TV rots your brain. No, really - I actually do think that TV is not that great for kids their age. So I definitely have not had the TV on for them for about three hours straight. Shudder.


When my son came walking into the living room this evening sucking on a kleenex or cloth or something, I did not just let him keep doing it without checking to see what he had. I did not, a few minutes later, hear my daughter making a mess in her room and check on her to discover that she had gotten into the baby wipes and strewn them all around the room. I did not then realize my son wasn't sucking on a kleenex or a cloth - he was sucking on a baby wipe. Ew. At least it was clean.


Oh. And when I asked my daughter if she had gotten the wipes out and thrown them all over the room, my 2.5-year-old did not reply, "Baby Guy pulled one out, too." As if that made it all better.

I also, after having not gained weight during the recent weight-loss competition, have a chocolate milkshake from Sonic after the kids were in bed. Seriously. What the heck is wrong with me??? (By the way, have you had a Sonic chocolate milkshake? Wow. Best fast-food milkshake ever. Yum.)

And you'd better believe I haven't forgotten everything that happened before Friday that I was going to put in this post. My memory is not that bad. And if it is, I make notes. Of course.

So, what did you not do this week? Tell me all about it!

Since MckMama decided not to do one this week, I'm putting a MckLinky on my post so at least my friends can pop around to each others' blogs and see what other people didn't do this week. To put the list on your page, enclose the following code in "pointy brackets" and paste it at the end of your "Not Me Monday" post:

(open pointy bracket)script src="http://www.mcklinky.com/linky_include_basic.asp?id=4602" type="text/javascript"(close pointy bracket) (open pointy bracket)/script(close pointy bracket)

I hope that made sense. If not, leave me a comment on this post and I'll try to clarify.

"Not Me" Monday

It's time again for "Not Me" Monday, a blog carnival sponsored by MckMama-


What? I should take a look at the link I just posted? (Really, Blue? Do you think there'll be another clue? Oh - sorry. Got carried away.)


Well, look at that. It's actually not a blog carnival, according to Wikipedia. Apparently in a blog carnival, the "host" of the carnival collects entries and publishes them on his or her own blog. When a group of bloggers all post about the same topic on their own blogs, it's apparently called a synchroblog, or synchronized blogging.


So I guess "Not Me" Monday is not a blog carnival (do you think maybe that was intentional?) hosted by MckMama in which we get to post about all of the things we shouldn't have done did not do during the past week.


I did not sit up way too late pretty much every night this week, writing blog posts and reading blogs and message boards. My rest is much too important for me to do something like that, especially with a baby who wakes up wanting his mommy multiple times in the night.


Speaking of that baby, I did not let my son suck bathwater out of the washcloth in the tub to keep him happy while I washed his hair. Yuck. Bathwater is gross, and I wouldn't let my baby guy drink even a very small amount of it!


I also did not get "scolded" earlier this week by some of my co-workers for picking up lunch for one of them but not offering to get something for everyone else. I wouldn't be that thoughtless. I mean, those poor guys can't leave their desks for more than a few minutes at a time, so if I were bringing back something for one of them, I would never forget to ask and see if the other guys wanted something.


I definitely did not let my son play with a full, unopened can of ginger ale to distract him while he got his hair cut.


(Notice the color of the can. Yeah. He's that predictable.)

I did not laugh and take pictures as he pretended to drink from the can.



He did not drop the can many, many times.

I did not let him continue to walk around with the can after we were finished with his hair. My husband didn't see him and say, "Don't let him put that in his mouth! It's dirty!"


I certainly didn't respond with, "Do you wash them before you drink out of them?" and let my son keep playing with it.


I did not, as I was strapping my daughter into the high chair for a little Time Out, hear a suspicious SSSSSSsssssssss noise from the kitchen. Oh, no, definitely not. Because that would mean -


My son was not sitting in a puddle of ginger ale, gleefully watching golden stickiness spray out of a pin-sized hole in the top of the can all over my parents' kitchen floor. No, that certainly didn't happen, because I never let him play with the can in the first place.


I also didn't wipe the ginger ale up with a dry paper towel without washing the golden stickiness off the floor. Oh, no, not me...I'm a much better daughter than that. I wouldn't leave that type of a mess for my poor mom, whose milestone birthday we were there celebrating, to clean up. Cough cough. (Sorry, Mom.)


Speaking of my mom's birthday, I didn't help myself to a second piece of cake and ice cream when no one else was in the dining room. Because, remember? I'm not in a competition at work to lose weight. (Sounds like I'm going to lose something, doesn't it?)


Whew. I think that's enough for this week!


Oh, wait. How about one more: I did not stay up too late tonight writing my "Not Me" Monday post! I do not still have to shower, which means it will not be pretty close to midnight by the time I get to bed. That would be awfully irresponsible of me, wouldn't it?


Wouldn't...it...?


(Edited 8/18 to add: I also did not spend all that time writing my "Not Me" Monday post just to completely forget to add it to MckMama's Mr. Linky list. Nooooo...I would never be that scatterbrained. Not me!)

Not Me...Wednesday?

As I sit here (or wander around there) doing things that I probably shouldn't, or would at least prefer not to admit doing, I realize I could probably do a "Not Me" post every day.

For example...I did not just eat two pieces of the cake that one of the Transmission Operators (at work) brought in to share among the other Operators.

Did I mention I'm not one of the Operators?

Oh no...not me. I wouldn't swipe cake meant for someone else. Twice.

(Okay, okay, they did invite me to have some. I don't want you to think that badly of me. But still. Technically for the guys who are slaving at their desks for twelve-hour-days on shift work...not for me in my cushy 8-5 8:30-5:30 9-5:30 with-lunch-at-my-desk office job.)

Just had to get that out. Now it's back to the grindstone Access database.

(Speaking of Access databases, if anyone knows how to do charts in Access, I'd be ever-so-grateful for the info.)

"Not Me" Monday

For the first time, I am going to participate in MckMama's "Not Me Monday," in which I write about all of the crazy (and marginally embarrassing) things I did not do this week.

First of all, I did not procrastinate writing a blog post this past week. I never procrastinate, so the idea that I might have put off putting some words down on my blog is ludicrous. Completely.

I also didn't have a Starbucks "Double Shot" every morning this week. And the week before that. I certainly wouldn't consume 220 calories of caffeine-laden goodness unhealthy beverage every day when I'm trying to lose weight. Of course, since I'm not currently competing in a weight-loss challenge at work, then it wouldn't be a big deal if I did drink it, right? But, of course, I didn't.

Furthermore, I did not think, after a week of being fatigued and nauseated every evening, "Uh oh, what if I'm pregnant?" I did not, with this thought in mind (because it wasn't in my mind, of course) take four home pregnancy tests that I did not buy at Dollar Tree while not hiding in the next aisle over from my mother-in-law who did not happen to walk in while I was not searching frantically for the tests, which the Dollar Tree staff did not, for some ungodly reason, decide to put in the checkout lane instead of with the bathroom/pharmacy/hygiene supplies.

And I did not breathe a huge sigh of relief when the test was not negative. Er. I mean, it was negative. I mean, I'm not pregnant. No, no, really! I mean it this time!

Whew. Where was I?

Oh, yes.

(By the way, the fatigue/nausea did, um, not happen to go away when I stopped drinking the Double Shots. Who knew?)

Anyway. What else did I not do this week? Well, I didn't take the whole bag (the. whole. bag.) of my daughter's chocolate goldfish grahams to work to have as a snack. I mean, geez. What kind of mom parent person would do something like that?

I also did not take a look at some pictures taken of myself on Saturday and realize my face does not look just like it did right before each of my children was born. Ohmygosh where did that second chin come from???

And with that in mind, I did not turn around on Sunday and have a chocolate milkshake, followed by four chocolate-covered strawberries, followed by two pieces of baby shower cake, followed by a Coke on the way home. And that was just my mid-day snack. Or, um, it wasn't.

I also most certainly did not chase my son around with the aforementioned second piece of baby shower cake trying to force bites on him so I could feel more justified in taking that second piece. After all, my son wanted some more cake.

Not me.

I hope you enjoyed my first "Not Me" Monday post, in which I did not go a little overboard in talking about all the crazy bizarre embarrassing perfectly normal things I did this week.

Er, did not do.