In a similar vein to my post the other day regarding pregnancy and hot summers, I thought I would share with you a few personal pregnancy pet peeves, just because. And if you have done this/said this to me, don't sweat it. Chances are pretty good it didn't bother me that much unless you were the third person in the span of a week to do it (see item #1)...and then, that's not really your fault. Even if it does bug me at the time.
So, in no particular order....
- Do not comment on my size. Just don't. If you remark on how big I've gotten, I feel like a cow. If you remark on how small I am, I worry that my baby isn't growing properly and oh my gosh there must be something wrong, after all, it happened to my best friend's sister's cousin, so it's surely going to happen to me, too! The only appropriate comment regarding a pregnant woman's appearance is, "You look great!"
- If you have told me something in the past, and I ask you about it again, please do not point out that you already told me, or if you must point it out, please do so gently. My brain doesn't work the way it's supposed to right now, and adding in, "I told you this last week when you asked me about it," just makes me feel stupid.
- If I comment that something hurts, please don't ignore that I've said it. While it may seem redundant to you, it is at the forefront of my thoughts 90% of the day. "I'm sorry," is good enough, but please act like you care. Believe it or not, it does make me feel better to have my discomfort acknowledged. If I didn't want to actually talk about it, I wouldn't have brought it up.
- If you are a prominent maternity clothing store, do not sell me clothing that is guaranteed to shrink if I launder it according to the instructions on the tag. Seriously? Have you not NOTICED that your main clients are pregnant women?
- If you are a salesperson in said maternity clothing store, do not try to convince me that laundering the clothing according to the tag will not cause it to shrink. This is my third baby. I have been buying clothing from your store for longer than you have been in the workforce. I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
- Please don't be condescending or discouraging about my decision to labor without pain medications. I know it won't get me any gold medals. If I wanted a gold medal, I'd train to be in the Olympics. I just want to go through labor without any unnecessary wires, tubes, pokes, or cuts and without putting unneeded medications into my and (therefore) my baby's body.
- If I'm headed to the bathroom, * please don't get in my way or stop me to talk as I pass your office/cubicle/desk. Since every movement hurts these days, chances are pretty good that I've waited until the last possible moment, and now I am about to pop. Please wait until I come back through, and then I'll be happy to have a conversation with you. Especially if you offer me a comfortable place to sit. Or chocolate. And if it's both, I may never leave again.
* If you are wondering how to recognize that I am heading to the bathroom, recall that every step is painful for me, so if I'm up and walking, it's bound to be for a good reason. If there is a bathroom in the direction I am headed, assume that that's my destination. After all, I am pregnant, which means there is a 4-lb baby sitting on my bladder and using it as a punching bag. Trust me, I am headed for the bathroom.
If, by chance, you have done one of the things on this list, or you think I might be pointedly referring to you, I'm not. Trust me. (Unless you are a prominent maternity clothing store. Then, yes, I do probably mean you.) Some of these are even hypothetical and haven't actually happened. But if you did do this, and it bothered me, just remember, everything bothers me these days. It probably took me about five minutes to get over it, anyway.
2 comments:
Wanted to stop by and respond to the questions you left for me about methods for dealing with labor. Not sure that I'll be that much help.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I didn't partake in any childbirth prep classes. Being a nurse and having a bit of experience with labor and delivery, I didn't think that I would learn anything helpful. I'm sure that was the wrong attitude to take.
My biggest hint is to not go to the hospital til you absolutely must. Many times girls are so excited and scared and would come in to L&D at such an early stage of labor. Me? I'd rather be at home in my comfy surroundings for as long as possible. In the first case that wasn't possible with my water breaking and starting pitocin and with the second I probably should have gone in a little bit sooner sooner. (Not that the nurses were helpful).
The thought of being in bed, tied down with the monitors and IV for hours upon hours just makes me anxious thinking about it. If you can I would suggest walking, baths, bouncing on the big ball and just trying to keep moving.
My husband was great with my first, I think I was back laboring and he helped me find the best position for comfort. Rubbed my back at times then backed off at times depending on my mood LOL. Of course with B he missed a lot of it, just to finally have him there was a relief. A lot of my pain was in my upper legs. (Never much abdomen pain, guess that's why the monitor didn't register right for me? Instead of big mountains, my lines were flat/straight and kind of jagged during the contraction then back to flat. No mountains).
Also in earlier labor distractions are good, be it a book, movies, a Nintendo DS LOL! or if you can't concentrate just some nice music. I love smells. Obviously candles are a no-no, but now they have some other options with a non-flame heating element. I'd bring something like that.
Once the action really gets going and the contractions are intense, I breathed through them. I don't know which method I followed. Easier said than done, but I tried to not fight the pain or tense up. As much as I could I would accept it. I knew that a contraction will start, peak, subside and I paid attention to each contraction breaking it down. At the worst times I focused on the break that was coming between the contractions. It may not have been a long break but I took it one at a time and kept focusing on the relief that was coming.
My deliveries were not normal, I probably was in early labor for a few days and didn't realize, thinking back I did feel icky. But I worked practically until the moment of delivery-K was born Saturday morning and B was born Monday morning. Both times I worked that Friday. So I had other things to focus on.
The middle stages were painful but not anything that I felt I could not handle. Granted if that lasted for 10 hours I'd feel differently, especially if I was trapped in a hospital bed.
Transition was awful, but it was because I did not know I was so close to delivery either time. I figured I was maybe 5-6cm at the most. I kep thinking there was no way I could go through that for hours and hours. The reality was that I was 9cm and complete at each check. Once I heard that there was such a relief, I cried tears from the relief. At that point I knew I could do it.
So, my advice is probably not textbook or typical birthing methods but that's how I made it through. I hope there is something that you can take out to help you. Really, I know you will do great and can't wait to read all about it!
I'm so envious of you, so I'll be living vicariously through you! =)
I'm so sorry that some people forget what it's like to be preggers so they say the "darnest things."
People are strange, odd, silly and wonderful sometimes aren't they?
In a few short weeks you'll be meeting your sweetheart and you'll remember what it's like to walk upright without the fear of tipping over (or was that just me?).
So excited for you!!!!
BTW: My advice about labor is to be flexible...if you'll remember from my birth story, things don't always go as expected:).
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